Finding Peace by Steffy Rogers

Author:Steffy Rogers [Rogers, Steffy]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2017-04-25T04:00:00+00:00

Letting Amanda leave for work the next day sucks. I wish we could extend our vacation a little longer, but unfortunately, both of us are needed at our jobs. I won’t see her until I get home tomorrow morning, and I’m anything but happy about it.

Trying to pass time, I call Faith and ask her if she wants to meet for breakfast. She agrees and thirty minutes later we’re at Gary’s Café for some much needed caffeine.

“Hey, Squirt, it’s good to see you,” I say hugging Faith.

“One of these days you’ll get tired of that damn nickname.”

We sit and place our order with the waitress.

“How’s Amanda? How was your trip to Chicago?”

“Amanda is great and Chicago was amazing. You would’ve loved it. She showed me the Navy Pier, Lincoln Park, and the Water Tower. Oh, and we went to a Cubs game at Wrigley Field.”

“That sounds amazing. I’m so happy for you, Caige. You deserve someone like Amanda.”

The waitress interrupts our conversation and sets our food on the table.

“She’s amazing. I don’t know why I waited so long to finally give in to my feelings.”

“Well, you’re stubborn for starters, but at least she didn’t give up on y’all. Have you told her about Ciara yet?”

Faith is going to kill me if I tell her that I haven’t told Amanda about Ciara yet, but I know lying isn’t an option. “No, I haven’t told her yet.”

“Caige, why not? You have to tell her, she deserves to know.”

“But what if she walks away from me when she realizes what I did?”

“You give her little credit. She won’t walk away because it wasn’t your fault. She’ll see it for what it is – that Ciara’s thoughts got too dark for her to handle.”

“I wish you were right, Faith, but it was my fault and Amanda will know that. I won’t keep that a secret from her if I tell her.”

“What do you mean if? You can’t keep this from her forever, Caige. It’s part of your past whether you like it or not. How would you feel if Amanda kept something like this from you?”

“I’d be disappointed, but I’d understand,” I say as I take a drink from my coffee wishing it was tequila instead.

“What are you gonna tell her when we drive to the cemetery on the anniversary? Are you gonna lie to her?”

“Of course not.”

“Well, then you have to tell her sooner rather than later. Be honest with her, she’ll understand.”

I think about Faith’s words, and I know she’s right, but it’s so damn hard to talk about Ciara. I’ve been doing so well the last couple weeks with Amanda by my side, but if I open up to her, it’ll all come crashing back down on me. I’m not ready to go back there yet, and I’m also not ready to lose Amanda. She’s my light in the darkness. If I lose her, I have no idea what I’d do.

Faith convinces me to join her for her doctor’s appointment since Seth can’t make it.

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